Commissioner's Rankings 2024

Gave myself a little break to think through these last four picks. Definitely not because I was tired of getting the laptop out to write these. 

Injury Report:

I'm pretty sure we've only had one injury since the last article. Jaylen Warren went down with a hamstring injury. Not good for Warren owners, but should be good news for Najee owners as Arthur Smith will look to run the absolute fuck out of the ball with him. Congrats Rusty, you may have just passed Clint in the rankings.

Chat GPT Prompts:

What do you think of Clint drafting Nick Chubb in the third round?

"Hey Clint,

So, you decided to draft Nick Chubb in the third round, huh? Bold move! It’s like picking a cake without checking if it’s ready—sounds great in theory, but there might be a wait involved. Chubb’s got the talent, no doubt, but with that 6-7 week recovery timeline, you might need a bit of patience.

Think of it this way: you’ve got a potential high-impact player to look forward to, but you might need to weather some storms until he’s back. Make sure your roster’s got the depth to handle this move, and remember, sometimes the best teams are the ones that can adapt and make the most of their choices!

Keep your spirits up and make those strategic moves—you’ve got this!"

Can you write a poem about Kevin's wrinkled shirt?

"Oh Kevin, dear, with wardrobe flair,
Your shirt’s a crumpled mess, I swear.
A mountain range of wrinkles bold,
Your fashion sense is growing old!

Each crease a tale of lunch gone wild,
Of spilled coffee and a day defiled.
Your shirt, it looks like it’s been through
A laundry war that it just lost to.

You wear it proudly, and it shows,
That you don’t care what chaos grows.
Is it a map of uncharted lands?
Or just a joke from laundry’s hands?

Your collar’s drooped, your sleeves are sad,
This shirt’s the worst I’ve ever had.
It seems your iron’s taken leave,
And left you with this wrinkled sleeve.

So here’s to you and your wrinkled plight,
A fashion statement, bold and bright!
Embrace the crinkles, wear them high,
For Kevin’s shirt, it’ll never die!"

Number 4 - Logan

Logan is a perenial contender so this shouldn't shock anyone. Starts the draft with Barkley who finally gets to run behind a good o-line in Philly. Grabs the RB2 or 3 from last year in the 5th round in Mostert. Then takes a shot on Spears who was just named co-starter with Pollard in Tennessee. 

At QB he has Hurts who is almost guaranteed to finish top 3 at the position. Then follows it up with a very underrated Herbert. Let's see if he bounces back under the Harbough regime. 

May have the best TE position in the league with Mandrews and Hockenson who won't play for a few weeks, but should be a top 10 TE when he's back. 

Here's the big question mark: WR. Devonta Smith is a WR2 on his team, but grabbing Hurts helps because you can get that stack on TDs. Keenan Allen is old and on a new team, but Caleb Williams will depend on him as DJ Moore gets the majority of the double coverage. Meyers should be a great WR3 for Logan now that Minshew has been named the starter. Addison was hurt this week and I think Logan just dropped him so whatever. 

"But Brady, you forgot to talk about Josh Jacobs." - Austin. That's because I think Jacobs was a big reach, but I was happy to see it because it let Kyren fall to me. I just don't see it with Jacobs. He was in and out all last year with injuries, he's on a new team (Packers), and he's old. I just don't see him being worthy of a second round pick, and that's a ton of draft capital to give up. I like this team, but I would like it even more if he had taken say Pacheco, Kyren, Henry, or a handful of other RBs in the second. 

Bold Prediction: Josh Jacobs doesn't finish as a top 15RB.